I have a soft spot for animals that need homes. It’s so soft that when I see a dog walking near the road I always pull over to help. Despite my attempts, I have yet to actually rescue a lost dog. Sometimes the dog runs away from me. Sometimes the dog’s collar says that the dog lives 15 feet away. I know what you are thinking, but no one said being a hero is easy.
A couple of days ago I read that a horse needed a home. I felt that inner calling again. And this wasn’t just a dog. This was a horse. I sent a text to the hubs.
Me: I think we should get a horse.
Hubs: OK…might I ask what led to that conclusion?
Me: Someone posted on my company’s Intranet that a horse needs a home. Boys like horses. We have boys. It all makes sense.
Hubs: Our Cub Scout could earn his horseback riding pin.
Hubs: It cracks me up that you actually have a horse on your Intranet. Where would we keep this horse?
Me: We would keep the horse in our new backyard after we move. You could build it an eco-friendly, self-sustaining, one-horse stable.
Hubs: The engineer in me appreciates the buzz words but I’m not sure we’ll get a horse stable approved by the Home Owners Association.
Me: Ugh! The red tape! Fight the power!
Hubs: I’ll be sure to add “horse stable” to the agenda for our next meeting with the architect.
Me: Is it going on the “if there’s any money left over” list? If so, list it after the slide and rock wall, but before the foam pit.
Later that evening….
Me: I had an idea for the horse.
Hubs: And that is…
Me: Remember how your friend Brad is going to buy a farm? The horse could live on his farm!
Hubs: Has he bought a farm?
Me: Not yet. Also, Brad wants to know if we want to buy a farm, too, as an investment.
Hubs: I think I’ll pass.
Me: Yeah. I told him that was a lot of shit to shovel for a pair of stilettos.
Hubs: That’s one way to put it.
Me: Brad said it’s called manure. What is this on the counter?
Hubs: I did some research and found a supplement that will help my memory, since you have pointed out that I struggle in that area. Would you like me to make you a salad for lunch tomorrow?
Me: Are we still doing that low-carb diet?
Hubs: As far as I know.
Me: I guess. I mean, yes please.
Me: Babe, wake up! You are supposed to drive me to work this morning! Remember?
Me: Oh no, you didn’t take your supplements, did you?
Hubs: No, I didn’t.
Me: I’m just kidding. I made that up. But you did agree to buy me a new handbag, just in case you forgot. Are you going to take those pills?
Hubs: I don’t know.
Me: You should. It might help. Plus, you did the research.
(After rolling out of bed, the hubs opens the cabinet, takes the pills, puts the bottle back, and closes the cabinet door.)
Me: Look! You remembered to close the cabinet door!
Hubs: Ugh! This is exactly why I didn’t want to take the supplements.
Me: If I can’t help you celebrate your memory successes, I will be sad. This is really not my week. First, no carbs, then no horse, and now no memory celebrations?!
Hubs: You are too much.
Later this morning the hubs sends me an email….
Hubs: I should warn you now that I might want to get a few of these for our new house.
(He links to a website about a WiFi enabled, energy-efficient, LED lightbulb that can be controlled by your smart phone.)
I reply back: The horse will love it!
Hubs: True. And, this way we can turn the horse’s lights on and off from our phones, and won’t have to walk out to the stable to do it. We’ll just have to make sure that our WiFi signal is strong enough to reach the stable.
And there he goes again, over thinking everything. That man is a piece of work, but I sure do love him.